Many couples choose not to invite children to their wedding for a variety of reasons: the venue is too small, the ceremony will be too boring and there’s always the risk of a baby revolution. However, gone are the days when children had to sit at the back of the church in a mini stuffy suit and sing hymns with everyone else, before dragging their feet to the reception for a three course meal consisting of stuffed avocado, beef wellington and tiramisu. (Not exactly a dream meal for an 8 year old.)

The ceremony is arguably the worst part for a child. The chairs may be uncomfortable, they aren't allowed to speak, and the ceremony can seem boring. One thing to keep in mind is that children love to feel important. There is no better way to make a child behave at a wedding than to assign them with a “vital” role (depending on how much you trust the child- is doesn’t really need to be vital at all: “Yes, Timmy, the most important part of the wedding is the boy who holds this flower”). This is perfect if you are only inviting a small number of children as they can all have a part to play with no one left out. If, however, you don’t fancy the idea of fourteen attendants under the age of 12 there are other ways to keep them amused, and quietly at that.

Try writing up a silent scavenger hunt. The idea is that they have a list of things they have to find without moving from their chair or making a noise. When they have found them, they write on the list where the item was positioned. So, if they are looking for a man with red hair, and there is a redhead sitting by the door, they would write this on their list. Try thinking of some easy things (“a lady in a white dress”) and some more tricky things. Don’t make them too hard though- you don’t want to hear the hisses of “Mum! Mum! I can’t find a black squirrel!” from the back.

Finally, it’s the reception. If you can trust them not to run riot, set up a table specifically for the children. This gives them a sense of responsibility and also gives the parents a break. It’s probably best to assign one of your attendants to keep an eye on the table and pop over if anything looks to be getting out of hand. Serve the children simple meals- beefburgers or hot dogs with a jello dessert. Be careful of the e numbers though- you don’t want them bouncing around the room throughout the whole meal! Provide paper and crayons on the table so they can have a doodle as they eat, or think of some games that they can play as a table.

When it comes to the dancing if you’re having a disco, try playing some children’s classics for the first half hour. Let’s face it- no adults venture to the dancefloor until they’ve had at least two glasses of champagne so you might as well play up to the children. Another idea to keep children entertained and get some original photos for the album is to give each child a goody bag. Among the usual lollipops and plastic rings, add a disposable camera and a list of photos for them to take. This is similar to the scavenger hunt and could include some cheeky ideas such as “a couple kissing” or “an old man dancing”- it would be interesting to see who they think is old!

They will get over excited and stay awake well past their bedtime before collapsing in an exhausted heap under a table, as all children do at weddings, but at least they will have had a fun day and hopefully not caused too much trouble for your other guests.