The wedding gift list is a tradition dating back generations. When a couple would marry and move in for the first time, they would require all sorts of pots and pans for their new home. In these more liberal times, however, most couples move in together way before the wedding day. So how do you avoid the nightmare of multiple toasters?

A lot of newlyweds are now asking for money instead of gifts. This is getting more and more common but is still a touchy subject, especially in these cash strapped times. At least with a toaster, you don’t know how much it cost. Well, until you look in the Freemans catalogue that is! With money, however, you can see immediately how much your guests spent on you. This isn’t just a problem for those with smaller budgets, some more generous guests could feel embarrassed at showing you just how much they intended to spend.

It is generally advised that you make this an optional choice for your guests. If you don’t expect some cash from every guest, you can’t be disappointed when you don’t turn out loaded. It’s also a good idea to inform people well in advance that you are asking for money instead of traditional gifts.

The easiest way to do this is add a little line in your invitation. This also ensures that every guest knows about your request. Make sure the notice is polite, states that this is an optional choice and tells your guests exactly what you are going to spend it on. They are more likely to dig deep if they know it is going on the honeymoon or a deposit on a new house rather than being frittered away on silly things.

Many people have inserted a light hearted poem inside the invitation as an alternative way to break the ice. This informal style means there is less pressure and it is on the whole a lot more friendly than other methods. However, some people do think they are tacky and this can be off putting so do be warned.

On the day, make sure there is somewhere that money envelopes can be collected, allowing anonymity, but keep an attendant nearby to guard against theft. It's not a nice thought, but not all venue staff, hotel guests or opportunistic thieves are are trustworthy as your guests.

Generally speaking, money is a lot more versatile than solid gifts. If this feels a little too cheeky for you, try asking your guests for vouchers instead. These can be for a particular store or mall. You can even buy flight or hotel vouchers that you can use towards your honeymoon.

After the wedding, don’t forget to send a card to your guests thanking them for their attendance and for their gift. Mention again what you are going to spend all money on and then, when it has been spent, send another thank you note with some pictures to show what a good cause they helped to fund.

Hopefully you should be able to get through your wedding day without a toaster-shaped parcel in sight. Though you can’t always rely on Grandma Betty.