Weddings are a common element of movies, especially romantic comedies, but not all of these nuptials represent the ideal that most brides have in their head! In this series, we look at the top (or bottom) ten of the Worst Weddings in Movies. Some of these movies make our worst-of list for being poorly done while others, like number ten on the list, are beautifully done but represent scenarios it’s best to avoid on one’s own special day. Here are numbers 10 through 8...
10. The Marrying Man. ‘Romantic’ is not the first word that comes to mind when thinking of Victoria and Charley’s wedding. Armand Assante plays the gangster Bugsy Siegel who ‘owns’ sultry lounge singer Vicki Anderson (Kim Basinger). He find Vicki in a compromising position with Charley Pearl (Alec Baldwin), who is in Vegas for his bachelor party before marrying the daughter of a studio chief back home. The wedding he’d planned for will, alas, never see the light of day. Where men have long known and dreaded the concept of a ‘shotgun wedding,’ Charley learns what it means to have a ‘cement wedding,’ i.e. his feet will wind up in it if he doesn’t marry the mobster’s girlfriend.
They try to talk their way out of it up until the last moment. The “officiator” has the air of one arisen from the dead. Vicki’s “I do” consists of tossing her hands up helplessly. When it comes time for Charley’s “I do,” he tries to break up with Vicki, is reminded of the sizable thug standing right beside him, and only then agrees.
One of the funniest weddings in cinema memory, but not what you hope to invoke on the big day.
9. Old School. Our wedding scene happens early in the movie, and its only redeeming factor is a moral lesson that crops up in movies time and time again: never invite Vince Vaughn to weddings. His character, “Beanie” Campbell, coughs through the ceremony in attempt to dissuade the groom. The reception band is vulgar. Luke Wilson’s character Mitch gets drunk, spills coffee on a girl, then tries to drink it off her dress. Women, if you are trying to make a point about why your fiance shouldn't invite ALL of this old college buddies to the wedding, try popping in this DVD.
8. Kill Bill. Yes, it’s easy enough to forget somehow, but Uma Thurman’s gory, butt-kicking tirade which spans two movies by the inimitable Quentin Tarantino, began with a wedding. A long, slow whistle more or less sums this one up, but, to the unacquainted: the entire wedding party except for Uma Thurman is killed in a violent blood bath by her ex boss and boyfriend, so she seeks her revenge. As with many movies on our worst-of list, there is a redemptive mantra that newlyweds-to-be should take away from this movie: no matter what mishaps occur, it can’t be that bad.
More “at-least-it’s-not-us” wedding movie moments to come.